1. For the children: Women may believe that any father is
better than no father at all. She may lose custody of her children or cause emotional or
physical harm to her children if she tries to leave.
2. For financial reasons: She may have no financial resources, access to the
resources or job kills. If she has children, it becomes more difficult to leave without
having the ability to get affordable housing, transportation, etc.
3. Fear of retaliation: When a woman makes a decision to leave an abusive
relationship, her chances of being seriously physically hurt of killed increases 75%. Many
times she has been told by her partner that if she leaves, her partner will hunt her down
and kill her and the children.
4. Religious reasons: Many times a woman will stay in a relationship because of
religious beliefs. If she leaves or divorces her partner, her religious community may
ostracize her.
5. Family pressure: She may stay because of family pressure. Her partner may
have convinced her family that everything is good in their relationship, that any problems
are her fault. It may also be that her family of origin also has experienced violence
– so it may be considered a normal part of relationships. She may hear things such as
"You’ve made your bed now lie in it" or "We’ve never had a
divorce in our family".
6. Love: Many times a woman does not want the relationship to end. She loves her
partner, she just wants the violence to end. She may believe that her love can change her
partner’s behavior.
7. Age: Older women may be less likely to take steps to leave an abusive
relationship. Violence may have gone on throughout the relationship. She may have kept the
violence secret or hidden. She’s less likely to be able to start over. She may feel
isolated from friends and family.
8. Isolation: A women may not have support from friends and family or she may be
alone.
9. Shame: She may feel shame about being abused and reluctant to let anyone know
that abuse is occurring in her relationship.
10. Fear of the system: A woman may not know who to turn to for help. She may
fear the court system or may have had a bad experience with the police or others she has
reached out to in the past. She may have heard stories or system failures, such as failed
restraining orders resulting in murder.